Please read the Introduction first!
Some non-autistics wonder what the big deal is for an autistic to just live life like everybody else. After all, I’ve been masking so well, for so long, how difficult can it be? I lived for more than 70 years, in the NT world, unsuspected by anyone (including me) that I’m autistic. Many folks just thought I was some brilliant guy, who could figure out any problem (tough rep to live up to); I was very good at what I did (see Résumé). While the profession that chose me required me to interact with hundreds of people from various professions and corporate positions, it allowed me to display and utilize my autistic talents to their maximum. What a “piece of cake”, right? No? Well I’ve come up with a rather long-winded analogy of what it’s like for an autistic to live in the NT world. Hopefully, it will help autistics explain what life is like for us.
While this analogy is based on the premise of a country that uses the right side of a road for automobile traffic (using a left-side driver car), the reverse works just as well. You need to use a little visual imagination for this:
Life for NT folks is a bit like driving a car… hop into the driver’s side of the car, start ‘er up, and take off. It feels right, comfortable, normal. Let’s say the same person goes to England. Uh oh… the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car, and the traffic flows on the wrong side of the road! It doesn’t feel right; its not comfortable, it’s not normal. After driving for a few days, it becomes a little more comfortable and less nerve-racking.
For an autistic, life is more like driving in England at night, except it never gets comfortable, it never feels normal. While intellectually, you know that the headlights coming at you are on the right-hand side of the road, emotionally you need to move over to the right side of the road in order to avoid a head-on collision. But, you hold your car in the left lane anyway. And the same thing happens every time you see headlights.
Stress is like fog; the more stress you are under, the foggier it gets while you are driving on the wrong side of the road at night in a car that is set up backwards. Having a meltdown, hissy-fit, burst of anger, whatever, is when it get so foggy that you know that no matter what side of the road you are on, you will have a head-on collision because you can hardly see headlights coming at you anymore. Your only choice is to stop the car, and get out.
I hope you can visualize how this whole mess plays out. Maybe you can share this analogy with your NT friends & family. I truly hope it helps.
Be safe, Be well.
~fss
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I always leave this blog feeling inspired and motivated to make positive changes in my life Thank you for being a constant source of encouragement
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